臨別依依，我怎麽總是逃不脫？

"Hey, I wouldn't be able to find you on Jabber anymore, how sad is this...."

還以爲我已經準備好了

還以爲能把情緒給掌控好

還以爲

自己可以習慣這不斷上演的離別

可當她對我說出這句話時

我的胸腔瞬間被難受和不捨填滿

張牙舞爪的悲傷一點一點地侵蝕著我年輕脆弱的靈魂

明天

要瀟瀟灑灑地

帥氣地

說再見

Love,

2026: 探訪35嵗的自己

天啊怎麽辦怎麽辦？再過半小時Carinn就要過來了，我應該要穿什麽才好咧？You know, Carinn 那麽小一只，任誰站在她身邊都會瞬間變成巨無霸啊！衣服一定要好好挑才行，顯瘦顯瘦再顯瘦！所以說平時干嘛不運動？！Elysia Park Residence 明明就有泳池也有健身房啊，還有Sky Garden，Princess Liew 你不能再懶下去了啦！都35嵗了吼！話説回來，我真的好久好久沒和 Carinn見面了，上一次見到她應該是在她媒體公司的推介禮上，這次要和她坐下來好好聊聊才行。我可是爲了這次的見面做足了準備功夫哦！516 sq ft的Studio小套房我可是一寸一寸地打掃了一遍，乾淨得不得了呢！

Day 123

I saw her walking towards me.

I was scared.

I was so fragile and vulnerable back then.

I might cry you know, I don't want to cry.

She looked at me, with her right palm resting on my left shoulder.

Her eyes were red.

And then, tear drops were rolling down her cheek.

She was crying.

She was crying...for me.

There's something stuck in my throat and I went breathless.

I turned my face away and tried to hide my emotions, 

But I guess I failed.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It's Kacang's turn now.

I love my Kacang.

I spent most of my time with her and she is a really nice girl.

We were sitting next to each other, back to back.

I texted her, with her sitting behind me, with her back against my back.

"DO YOU WANT MY HUG?" she asked, in upper case letters, as she always does.

"No please don't, don't do so, I will cry." I insisted.

"I WANT TO HUG YOU DO YOU WANT MY HUG?"

"No please, don't talk to me, I can't talk now. I will cry if I start talking."
I heard her sobbing after this,
It was so clear and so near to me, right behind my back.
She was weeping for me,
For me......
I feel so bad that people are crying for me.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He was trying to call me, so did she. 

Thank god that I turned my phone off.

I just...can't talk now.

Love,

一周復一周

我低頭望了望手腕上的手錶
時針和分針呈現漂亮的120度
已經10:10pm了

好多店都已把閘門給拉下，海關的人群變得好稀落
但我一點都不覺得擔心，也不覺得緊張。

反而，覺得好刺激，好興奮。

錯過了最後一班列車和巴士那又怎麽樣？

那我就有藉口走路回家了耶

月光下街燈下乾淨的街道

有我慢慢地走回家， 不覺得很浪漫很有情調嗎？
而且還要是在大半夜里，超有感覺的啦！
好吧那就這麽決定了， 如果錯過了最後的列車和巴士那我就走路回家哦Yeah！
光是想的都覺得好興奮好期待！

但我卻命中註定般地趕上了最後的班車

夜半走路回家的浪漫，沒能實現，沒能體驗。

好可惜。

會有機會的，對吧？

Love,